The emotional rollercoaster of leaving our kids for the first time

We finally did it. We managed to get away for the night on our own, without the kids. It’s only taken five and a half years and I only slightly freaked out at the prospect. We decided to go to Liss Ard Estate just outside Skibbereen in West Cork. It’s only half an hour away from where we live so we figured it was a good one for our first night away - we could easily have jumped into a cab and gone home if they hadn’t settled for our babysitter. It was absolutely glorious, with a romantic setting, gorgeous walks and fantastic food. And drink. The drink was fantastic. I went through lots of emotions whilst away and I’m sure a lot of other parents can relate. Here is the rollercoaster I went through:

*Saying goodbye was emotional. Tears welled up in my eyes as I kissed them all goodbye and watched them wave from the window. The girls were totally fine but our little boy looked less than impressed and lamented about how he was going to miss us “so much”. Guilts, guilts, guilts.

*Half way down the road,  I realised we were listening to the Frozen CD and switched it off for the first time in God knows how long. We got to listen to the radio. Grown up radio! Hurrah!

*Arriving at our destination and seeing our gorgeous room - not a cot bed in sight and a bottle of Prosecco waiting for us. Oh my gosh - bliss!

*Walking down to the treatment room to get a back and shoulder massage. “Oh God, maybe I should have rang them to see how they’re getting on.” “But it’s only been an hour, cop yourself on.” This is me arguing with myself, by the way. The worry and regret was creeping in. What have we done??

*Lying down on the massage table waiting for the therapist to come back. I can’t remember when I last lay down without someone hanging off me. About a million thoughts run through my brain as my sane self urges the panicking part of me to get a grip and relax. The massage was fantastic. The knots in my back had knots and they melted away.

*Back up to the room whilst himself has his massage. I walk around, wondering what to do with myself and decide that a shower without an audience and that didn’t have to be rushed, was in order. Pure bliss. I could get used to this.

*We get ready for dinner and enjoy a glass of Prosecco. Who am I kidding - we drank the whole bottle. We text the sitter and learn that the kids are doing great. Brilliant. We can properly relax now.

*Dinner was fabulous. I got to eat at normal pace rather than inhale everything down as quickly as possible. We enjoyed a delicious bottle of wine and dessert and didn’t have to worry about anyone running riot through the place. Wow. A revelation.

*After dinner, we go for a walk and a wander around the gardens. It’s gorgeous. “The kids would love this.” I lament. “I miss them.” We go back inside an order a G&T.

*We get word back that the kids are all asleep and happy. No tears and everything went without a hitch. Exhilaration! Why don’t we do this more often?! We order another G&T.

*By 11.30 we’re both zonked and hit the hay. The bed seems pretty huge without three children squished in on top of me. I’m a little sad but relish in the fact that I’ll get an uninterrupted night of sleep for the first time in God knows how long.

*3am I wake in a puddle of milk. I hadn’t realised how much my youngest must feed during the night. Me and the bed are drenched. Oh, the glamour. I find it hard to get back to sleep and wish she was there to relieve the throbbing sensation in my chest. I toss and turn for the rest of the night.

*8am we have a leisurely breakfast. Again, being catered to and eating in peace brings pure joy. It’s the little things.

*10am we have a guided tour of the gardens and the Sky Garden  and it’s amazing. We can take our time and enjoy conversation and not worry about someone legging it into the lake or picking random flowers that they shouldn’t.

*12 noon, the tour is over and we check out. We decide to head to the market and do a spot of shopping. After five minutes we’re anxious and want to get home to the kids so we get back into the car and head home.

*12.45, we arrive home and there are emotional hugs and a much needed feed from the baby. It’s so great to be back, gosh these kids are amazing, I feel so refreshed now.

*1pm, I’m making lunch and everyone is whinging that they want such and such instead. Back to reality. Maybe we should have stayed away that little bit longer after all.

The glamour of expressing!

<3

Liss Ard is glorious

Liss Ard is glorious 

Our lovely anniversary break

Nick Cave, Bono, Patti Smith, Lou Reed, Van Morrisson and most recently, Mark Hamill and co of Star Wars fame…The spot we chose for our anniversary night away has an impressive former guest list that goes on and on. Liss Ard Estate near Skibbereen in the heart of beautiful West Cork may be just over half an hour away from where we live, but in terms of a treat and relaxation, it was on another planet. It was the first time ever that we managed to get away as a couple since having kids, so the fact that the Blue Book-listed property is practically on our doorstep made the getaway that much easier. Being so close meant that it was much easier to get out the door and to our destination, first of all. Secondly, it was so much easier to relax, knowing that if anything were to happen or if the kids failed to settle for the babysitter, we could always just jump in a cab and come home. Thankfully neither happened and we managed to exhale, relax and enjoy our new found freedom - even if it was just for one night.

Liss Ard really surpassed our expectations. The sun was splitting the stones last weekend when we pulled in the tree-lined avenue that led up to the 19th century estate. The stunning chorus of birdsong and stillness masked the fact that it’s minutes from the thriving town of Skibbereen, with its pubs and restaurants and shops. The gardens at Lisa Ard seem to go on forever and we enjoyed a tour by local guide Ann Collins (www.walkabout.vpweb.ie), who was a wealth of information about the entire estate and local area. We meandered along paths, took in breathtaking views along the lake and had our minds blown by the Irish Sky Garden, designed by American artist James Turrell. The crater - which was built to be the perfect viewing platform for the Irish sky, day or night, has a stone plynth in the middle where two people can lie, toe to toe, and take in the peace and quiet and admire the cloudless, azure sky. Apparently it’s just as magical at night, when clear skies allow for a birds eye view of an Atlantic sky in all its twinkling splendour. It was strange being able to lay back and relax and not have three little pairs of feet to be worrying about. In fact, it was a rare occurrence indeed to not have to be on high alert for someone falling over, getting up to mischief or doing something they shouldn’t. We probably spent half of our time there inadvertently looking over our shoulders and waiting for the cries of ‘mammy, daddy’. We definitely did relax though. You cannot help but relax at Lisa Ard. There’s a sense of purity and freedom about the place, an enchanted forest feel. Yet the house itself is pure luxury, and if you’re with a large group there are self-catering options as well. We saw one family takeover the lake lodge, which in itself is modern yet luxurious and with a breathtaking view.

There are loads of activities to do at Liss Ard Estate, if you’re that way inclined. You could borrow a bike and cycle around the grounds or head to somewhere like Tragumna if you are feeling energetic. You can also go boating on the lake, or kayaking, or enjoy a spot of fishing. We chose none of these adventurous outdoor pursuits, instead opting for a relaxing head and shoulders massage from the resident therapist. There is no spa at Liss Ard but you can book treatments in advance and I’d highly recommend the massage. The knots in my shoulders had knots, and lying back and having them kneaded away in peace and quiet was just pure bliss.

We stayed in a room in the main house with a stunning view of the lush green grounds. The king sized bed was really comfortable and the shower was glorious - and not just because I got to have one without an audience for the first time in about four years. Downstairs, there are superbly decorated drawing rooms and living rooms, with books galore to enjoy and comfortable couches to lounge back on while enjoying a G&T or a glass of wine. We had both. Dinner in the evening was divine. To start, I had chilled pea soup with a tower of melt in the mouth crab meat, while himself had a delicious pork belly and black pudding combo that was to die for. For the main, I tucked into monkfish, while he had a beef wellington cooked to perfection. Dessert was the most delicious sticky toffee pudding I’ve ever had, and a cheese board. The following morning, during our tour, we spotted where the grow their veg and salads - literally as much as possible is locally sourced and they make the most of all the wonderful natural resources on their doorstep. Breakfast the next morning was a buffet of fresh fruits, cereals, yoghurt, juices and delicious bread and croissants, and you could order anything hot from the kitchen, so it was freshly cooked to order. Delicious. I went for the full Irish while himself enjoyed an eggs benedict.

Saturday is market day in Skibbereen so we headed there to stock up on fresh bread, some cake and a delicious coffee before heading back home to see the kids. It had been less than 24 hours but my batteries felt recharged, albeit a little foggy after that extra G&T before bed. If we hadn’t been in such a rush to go back, there’s so much to explore right on Liss Ard’s doorstep. There’s Glebe Gardens and Baltimore, Glandore and Union Hall, Rosscarbery and so any other gems between Skibbereen and Cork city, which is just over an hour and a half away.  Or of course you could go further west, to Schull or Ballydehob, or Brow Head near Crookhaven - where the views are so out of this world that the Star Wars movie is being filmed there this week. Beautiful. Liss Ard is less than four hours from Dublin, just over 2.5 from Limerick, less than 1.5 hours from Cork. I’d highly recommend it to anyone looking for relaxation or a romantic break away. We were celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary and couldn’t have picked a more perfect spot to do so. For more information go to www.lissardestate.com

The Definitive Hospital Bag list

A COUPLE of friends of mine are pregnant at the moment and have asked me for advice on what to pack for their hospital stay. There are so many versions of this list online but after having three babies and tweaking the bag packing at every one, I think this is the only hospital bag list you’ll need. I’d advise you to pack a few different bags. It’s better than having one gigantic one that you have to root through to find anything, or worse yet, that your partner will have to root through. I haven't bothered with the paper knickers, fans, woolly socks and other paraphernalia that other lists recommend - simply because I never used them. 

I’ll start with a labour bag, and for this any kind of overnight bag will do. Here’s what I packed in mine and I had it in a handy place so that we could just grab it and go whenever we needed to. I’ve seen all sorts of things on this list before but I never used half the stuff I packed first time around. As well as the labour bag, I also brought a birthing ball with me as the hospitals don't always have them. I found them amazing for during labour.

*2 x loose nighties with buttons down the front with easy access to your chest for skin to skin straight away after the birth. I got mine in Dunnes. I say two because during my first labour I was a puker and needed a change of clothes, so for subsequent labours I made sure to pack two, just in case.

*A pair of flip flops for walking around during labour. You’re not going to be wearing shoes and slippers could get messy. Flip flops are handy as you can also wear them into the shower etc. 

*A hair tie to keep your hair away from your face if you need to.

*A bottle of water and some snacks - I packed jellies and some chocolate but I’m sure there are healthier versions that you might like to go for instead. You could get hungry during labour and it may very well be at night, when the shop is closed and the vending machine is broken.

*Phone charger.

*Tens machine, with new batteries. I swore by my tens machine for all three labours and used it throughout the labours. In fact, I wouldn’t go through labour again without one. You can rent them but given that your due date is only ever a guess date, I bought mine online. Make sure it has a boost button. I got mine on www.inhealth.ie.

*A homeopathic birthing kit, if you are into that kind of thing, and I was. I had drug-free labours and found this really helped. I got the Helios Pregnancy and Childbirth kit in my local health shop and himself had a read of all the instructions ahead of time so that he knew what to give me and when. I found it brilliant. 

*A towel in case you decide to have a shower or if you’re lucky enough to have a birthing pool in your hospital. CUH has one, as does the Coombe in Dublin and the midwife led units in Cavan and Drogheda.

*A facecloth can be nice to mop your brow if you’re feeling hot. 

*Within your labour bag, have a little brown paper bag and in it put one nappy, one vest, one babygro and a hat. When you leave the labour ward you’ll have a baby with you that will need dressing, after all!

Bag for the post-labour ward

*Shower products…The first shower you have after labour will be the best ever! Bring small travel shampoos, conditioners and shower gels as you don’t want them taking up all the space in your bag. Try use products that don’t contain too many chemicals or smells - you could be delicate after birth so it’s good to reduce the risk of stinging etc. Also, if you’re breastfeeding, it’s good to not mask your own smell too much from baby.

*A hair dryer and hair brush. Nothing worse than having to go to bed with wet hair and the hospital won’t have one. 

*Comfy, light pyjamas/nightie that has easy access to your chest and boobs. Hospitals are also stifling hot usually, so cotton or light natural fabrics are best to stop you melting in your bed. 

*A light dressing gown for when you’re up and about. 

*Slippers

*A comfortable sleep nursing bra - I got two packs in Mamas and Papas that you can just pull down. Really stretchy and nice. 

*Breast pads. I’ve tried loads of different brands over the years and my favourites were the Lansinoh disposable pads as they were the only ones that didn’t leave me soaking through. I’ve also heard good things about the Vital Baby 3D ones.

*Nipple cream is brilliant for preventing sore nipples in the early days of breastfeeding. I like the Lanolin cream by Lansinoh or the Madela PureLan Nipple Cream. 

*Multimam patches. These are a life saver if you have sensitive nipples. I brought a box to the hospital for babies two and three and it was one of the best things I packed. So soothing! You'll get them in good chemists and they cost around €14.95 per box.

*Knickers, knickers and more knickers. The bigger the better. I bought big bloomer like ones from Dunnes, in black. They need to be comfortable to accommodate the giant maternity pads you’ll have to wear for the next while.

*Giant maternity pads. I went for the plastic-free big green things that you can get in most pharmacies for a couple of euro. I don’t even know if they’re branded but they’re cheap as chips and provide plenty of cushioning. You’ll need loads of these. 

*A small makeup bag with a few items to make you feel good when you’re having those precious first pix taken - a bit of concealer, some moisturiser, foundation, mascara and some lipstick or whatever you’d normally wear. 

*For baby, pack around six vests and six babygros. The average length of your stay is around three days for a normal delivery and first baby, so two outfits a day should be plenty and allows for pukes, explosive nappies, peeing on themselves and you leaking milk all over them. The glamour!

*Muslin squares. Loads of them. I used them for everything - burp cloths, mopping up spit ups, laying down on their little cots to catch any pukes that happen when they’re in bed. I really like the extra large muslins as they’re so soft and multi purpose and I especially like the ToTs by Smartrike, which you can pick up in Smyths. 

*Cellular blankets. Not all hospitals provide blankets and the cellular ones are what’s recommended for breathability etc.

*I don’t recommend bathing baby in the hospital as some experts reckon it’s better to go without for at least 10 days. I did bring some cotton pads to wash baby’s face and top and tail them though. I brought one pack of newborn sized nappies and a packet of Water Wipes as well. 

*Magazines, a book or something else to pass the time for you. Babies can sleep a lot in the days after birth and you can be on a high and find it hard to sleep after going through labour. Bring a good book to keep you company.

*Your phone charger.

Going home bag

You can pack this and keep it at home and ask your partner to bring it in for you the night before you’re going home. It’ll save you having a load of stuff in your hospital room/ward. You’ll probably have just a small locker for your personal possessions. In it, pack a going home outfit for yourself (something comfortable!) and for baby. Throw in a blanket for covering baby when they’re in the carseat, and depending on the time of year you might need an all in one suit to keep baby warm on the journey home. 

These are essential in my opinion!

Couldn't have done labour without this bad boy

Love these extra large muslins from smarTrike

New me and all that jazz...

Anyone who has been following me on Snapchat will know that I've finally bitten the bullet this week and decided to do something about my health and fitness and the fact that I'm lazy and unmotivated when it comes to diet and exercise. My eating habits aren't all bad, as I generally have balanced meals and love fruits and vegetables, pulses, fish and all the good things we're constantly told we should be eating. My problem is snacking on crisps and eating multiple bars of chocolate a day, along with cake, biscuits, scones and whatever else happens to be around. I also don't drink enough water - I could go an entire day having only consumed a half cup of tea. It's ridiculous considering how much running around I do and considering I'm breastfeeding. It's no wonder that I look and feel a bit rubbish most of the time. I've been blaming 'baby weight' for the fact that none of my clothes fit me, but in reality it's gluttony that's gotten me into this mess. That and the fact I never exercise. And my skincare regime is non-existent. 

At the beginning of January I went out and bought myself a new pair of runners and they've been gathering dust since. But this week I dug them out again, and I purchased a pair of running leggings and a running jacket from Aldi. I stocked up on plenty of fruits and vegetables and seeds etc from there as well and I plan on being organised when it comes to snacking. Before I went on holidays I also bought myself some skincare products from Kinvara, a gorgeous Irish brand, and I'll be using that every day. No more removing makeup with baby wipes, not that I wear makeup very often. 

I'm not making huge changes because anything too drastic doesn't work with me. I'm simply promising myself that I'll eat a healthy breakfast every day, drink the minimum recommended 2 litre quota of water per day, squeeze 30 minutes of exercise into my routine (even just a brisk walk) and cut out the constant stream of junk. I'm still going to allow myself some treats as I think moderation will be the key to me getting back into the swing of not being addicted to sugar. I'm going to allow myself a small miniature bar of chocolate every day and I'll also be snacking on oatcakes and nut butters, which I love. Every morning, I'm also going to take some apple cider vinegar and some Omega 3 fish oils and Evening Primrose Oil. I find that when I take them regularly my mood is so much better - good news for everyone! 

So here I am on day one - a close up of my face with pretty patchy skin and dark circles under my eyes. My skin is also horribly dry, though you might not see it very well in this pic. The wrinkles are definitely creeping in because of it. 

Here's me in all my glory (aaaaargh!!!) on day one as well, in my new running leggings and my runners which have so far been ornaments. Although I won't be obsessing over the scales for this, my start weight is 65 kilos. I'm not sure if I have a goal, but I'm interested to see what happens by making the really small changes. I'll probably do a weekly weigh in for the heck of it though. BC (before children) I was always around the 53 kilo mark. 

Oh and I will be allowing myself a 'cheat' day - I can't be going seven days a week. And if there's a special occasion like a rare night out or a meeting with a friend, I won't be depriving myself either. Not a hope!

Veggie Haul

Lovely Kinvara products

My vitamins

Day 1 was yesterday and it went well. I didn't miss the chocolate as I'd had my small treat when the kids were in bed and because I drank loads of water, I wasn't constantly feeling the need to go to the fridge and see what I could snaffle. Let's see what the next week brings. I'll keep you posted!

Oh, and for anyone wanting to join me in my 'regime', here it is: a few tiny changes that could hopefully make a big difference.

• Drink 2 litres of water a day
• Take some apple cider vinegar in the morning
• Reduce chocolate and sweet intake to a mini bar per day
• Take care of my skin by cleansing and moisturising properly
• Get 30 minutes of exercise daily
• 1 cheat day per week

Lovely Lisbon and Cascais - a perfect family holiday

View of pool from our villa 

The beach in Cascais

T snoozing in Sintra

Gorgeous views in Sintra

Delicious dinner in Mar do Inferno in Cascais 

I THOUGHT holidays abroad were out of our reach now that my eldest child is in primary school. Gone are the days of taking off whenever we want - our schedules are now dictated by the academic calendar and going outside of school term usually means paying double what we’ve been accustomed to. But the stars aligned this year when Easter bestowed upon us a three-week break and a Ryanair sale meant we got flights to Lisbon for all five of us for just over €350. It was a no brainer. We were going. 

One thing that did worry me after booking our flights was that we’d booked a city break - this wasn’t the Algarve or the Costa del Sol. This was a European capital and our children are all aged five an under. What were we thinking? The panic dissipated, however, when we discovered Cascais - which is only around half an hour from Lisbon. It had the beach, gorgeous hikes and walks and was so accessible to the city. The best of both worlds. Think staying in Killiney whilst enjoying all that Dublin city centre has to offer, or relaxing in Kinsale and moseying into Cork city for the action.

We stayed at the newly-opened Martainal Cascais family resort, having previously fallen head over heels for the set up at its sister property in Sagres on the Algarve. The Martinhal empire is ever expanding - there’s also Martinhal Quinta too, and a new property is due to open in Lisbon city centre later this summer. The luxury family brand was the brain child of the dynamic duo, Roman and Chitra Stern, who realised the importance of catering to families with kids when they had there own and realised the lack of facilities on offer for people who like good food, relaxation and who also happen to have children. Perfection. We stayed in a two-bedroom villa overlooking the outdoor (heated) pool, less than a minute from the kids club, bar and playground. Did I mention the bar is right above the kids club, overlooking the playground? There are supervised play areas in all the restaurants as well, so myself and himself got to mull over desert and wine while the kids happily played in the corner, being taken care of and entertained. The playground is huge and has equipment suitable for all ages - from baby swings to a zip-line, to trampolines and a treehouse type of contraption. The kids were in their absolute element and we actually had the opportunity to relax and spend time together as a couple thanks to the kids club, which catered for all ages. The hotel is a short shuttle bus from down town Cascais and if you’re feeling energetic you could walk it in around 20 minutes. The area is safe and a stroll along the coast is a feast for the senses.

Cascais itself is a joy to just walk around and experience. We went to the outdoor market and sampled delicious food for half nothing. There’s a merry-go-round slap bang in the centre which of course the kids had to ride on every day and a local ice-cream shop called Santini with ice-cream so delicious that people queue outside the door to get into the place. I’d also highly recommend a seafood restaurant called Mar do Inferno, which is located outside the centre, along the coast. As an islander, fish is my thing and this is up there amongst the best I’ve ever eaten. Apart from people watching and mulling around the city and our resort, we also did some hiking with a company called portugalwalkhike.com. Our personal guide, Teresa, took us around a forest trail where we enjoyed magnificent views. Breathtaking. I’d highly recommend it to get a little bit off the beaten track and to get local knowledge and insight into some stunning places. 

Speaking of stunning, we also visited Sintra - a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which is really easily accessible from both Lisbon and Cascais. This is the place that inspired Walt Disney to create Disney World and it’s easy to see why. The palaces and castles are straight out of a fairytale and the lush greenery is mythical and inspiring. The kids adored exploring Quinta da Regalaria’s parks, grottos, wells and gardens. There’s also the glorious Pena Palace and Moors Caste, which was built into the edge of the mountain. We learned about the early at the tourism centre’s Myths and Legends exhibition, which the kids loved too. I highly recommend Cafe Saudade near the Sintra train station and their XL, gigantic scones are delicious for when their little legs get tired. George spilled his hot chocolate all over the table and the lovely waitress whizzed over to clean it up and promptly replaced it with a new cup with a smile and a pat to his head. Child friendly at its best. 

In Lisbon itself - which is an underrated gem of a city - we dedicated a few days to exploring it and it still didn’t seem like enough. There’s just so much on offer and with trams, buses and the metro, it’s really easy to find your feet and make your way around. And of course, strolling around the streets is an option too. On our first day there, we went to the Lisbon Story Centre on the Praca do Comercio plaza and got a quick history of the place. We went to the top of the Augusta Arch and took in panoramic views of the city. We visited the Oceanario de Lisboa - a fantastic aquarium that housed all the marine life you could think of. The kids had great fun pointing out all the Nemos and Dorys and favourites also included otters, sea horses and star fish. The place was mesmerising, and right next to a huge shopping centre as well as the Meo Arena, which will house the Web Summit in November. I can’t help but think of excuses to attend the event, if it means getting back to this amazing city within the next few months. Another gem we found was the Puppet Museum, the Museu da Marioneta, which was really cute and the kids had great fun running around the place. There’s a wealth of amazing little coffee and pastry shops (I left with an addiction to traditional custard pastries) and really reasonably priced and tasty restaurants. We had a child-free night out and enjoyed dinner at Cantinho do Avillez, which is part of a chain owned by a Michelin star winning chef. The food was delicious and not expensive by Irish standards. Heavenly. 

We left Lisbon feeling wrecked but exhilarated in knowing that experiencing a cultured, city break with sight seeing and adventure, whilst allowing for relaxation with the kids, was still possible. We hadn’t enjoyed a city break since BC (before children) so it really felt like we’d achieved something while at the same time recharging our batteries and enjoying quality time together as a family.

Where to stay:

Martinhal Cascais: For early summer offers, check out www.martinhal.com/cascais. Currently available are specials of seven nights half board (a full buffet, delicious breakfast plus a three course lunch or dinner every day) for two adults and up to four kids in interconnecting rooms, with full use of the indoor and outdoor pools, jacuzzi, steam room, sauna and sensations shower at the glorious Finisterra Spa. Free wifi throughout the resort and impeccable kids playgrounds. €2814. If you upgrade to a deluxe villa, the price is €3780 but it sleeps up to five children. 

We flew from Dublin to Lisbon with Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) but Aer Lingus also fly to the Portuguese capital. The 2.5 hour flight and no time difference is great when flying with kids.