I sometimes wonder why we bother getting toys for the kids at all. Or why Santa does, I should say. The house is packed full of all sorts of paraphernalia that most of the time doesn't get played with at after the initial excitement has worn off. Here's a list of things I genuinely think they'd love to get from Santa.
1. A toilet. A classic that never gets old. The five-year-old could spend the day on it and the 3-year-old loves nothing more than chucking stuff in there - especially rolls of toilet paper. As for the 18-month-old, every time I turn my back she's disappeared off and I will inevitably find her splashing around in there. And it's even more fun if the aforementioned 3-year-old has left a turd in it. Or what about a nice refreshing drink from it using the tea set to scoop it up? Check. Who needs a soda stream with the bad boy in town. A must.
2. A washing machine. More so for the younger two. George loves turning it off mid-cycle or putting random objects in there when I'm not looking. Tessa could sit watching it spin all day. Hours of fun, especially when Maisie is at school.
3. A torch. My pair have battered the shit out of one another fighting over the one in their granny's house. Honest to Jesus, we were there for two full hours over the weekend and they didn't play with anything else. I have yet to discover a toy on the market that would hold their attention for as long.
4. Forget selection boxes. I'm getting them a slab of Kerrygold this year. The stuff is like crack cocaine to the three of them. I literally have to lock it away or otherwise they're trying to eat lumps of the stuff. With fingers, spoons or just biting right in, they're not fussy. A firm family favourite.
5. A biro. You'd think when you've got two journalists living in the same house that pens would be easy to come by. Nope. I can't put one down without one of them coming along and swiping it, finding an item of my clothing, a precious photograph or the wall to scribble on.
6. Keys. Every kid I know wants a proper bunch all to themselves. Forget the plastic ones with lights and sounds and music and pictures of Elsa or Spider-Man or whoever else. No good. It has to be the real deal. Sure they're no fun unless they're capable of gouging your eyes out or cutting the throat of yourself when you're having a good old chew. See also a real remote control and a real iPhone.
Replicas. Will. Not. Do.
7. A cardboard box. Actually get a few ones of varying sizes. Way more fun than anything you could ever find inside the box.
8. A sweeping brush. Can be used as a sword, for playing witches, as a light sabre or just for undoing any actual sweeping that I've done. Also handy for beating one another up.
9. A saucepan. Preferably a few of them so they can take them all out at once and make the biggest racket possible when you're trying to take an important phone call or listen to something on the radio.
And there we have it. Have I forgotten anything?
A hoover, a hammer, screwdrivers, drills etc. , a couch, curtains, blankets, rugs, a real car, adult shoes, ANYTHING that sprays e.g. deodorant, perfume, vanish, a shower head. WATER, a bucket of water, glass of water, a puddle. Anything that u can squeeze out, spread out or rub in..... and also your nerves. They play havoc with them.!!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right! There's no list long enough, is there?!
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