Kids say the darnedest things...

Last week, Prince George - the firstborn of Prince William and Kate Middleton for anyone who’s been hiding under a rock - turned three. He was all over the news - people wrote about his cutest outfits, the birthday gifts that he’d most likely receive and who he’s met in his three short years on this planet. One of the articles that stood out most for me was one about his best quotes. It got me thinking about some of the clangers my kids have come out with over the years, much to my mortification. 

There are so many times that I’ve had to literally talk over them mid sentence for fear of how they finished it. And I always think of my sister’s son, who when a particularly rotund colleague visited their home, came out with a toy measuring tape from his Bob the Builder set and started trying to measure her back, saying, “Wow, your back is as big as an iceberg.” I also think of Maisie, who, not yet out of nappies, started pointing at a shabbily dressed bearded man on the bus, pointed and kept saying: “Look mammy, a scarecrow!” at the top of her voice. 

So this week, I started making note of the things they said to me at one point or another. It was actually a nice exercise and I will probably try and keep it up. It’ll be something to look back on in years to come and chuckle. And when they’re teenagers and accusing me of being an embarrassing parent, I can remind them that the embarrassment sometimes works both ways. 

Here are some of my favourites quotes from the past week: some funny, some lovely, and some just plain mean!

“Mommy, you’re not stupid anymore.” Tessa, aged 2, after I gave her a biscuit.

“Mommy is your tummy big like that because you ate too much pizza?” Maisie, aged 5.

“Mum, hurry up and clean my butt - this poo stinks.” George, aged 4.

“I love you mommy, you’re the best.” Maisie.

“Mommy, can men have babies in their tummies too?” Maisie, loudly, whist looking at a man’s belly at the doctor’s surgery. 

“Mum, I’ll love you even when I’m a grown up.” George.

Kids. They say the darnedest of things...